By M. Correll
Let’s put it bluntly (pun intended): these past few weeks have been a fucking nightmare.
If you weren’t already a heavy smoker or a drinker you likely are now after watching an orange crusted racist bag of flaming dogshit take a stranglehold of our American democracy by the white nationalist balls. I’ll keep this introduction brief to get into the real crux of this week’s column,
I understand you probably are still trying to forget about it for the remaining few months with the ballin’ Barack still retaining some power. This terrifying president-elect and his cabinet of Nazis, KKK members, Alt-Right and White Nationalists (let’s be honest, that’s just another word for Nazis) are about to decide the future of our families and friends.
I want to forget about this too. And no matter how strong the weed is, we’re going to need to make it stronger A.S.A.P.
Unless we get lucky and either the Electoral College votes against him or the recount actually works, it appears we are facing an epic ass fucking of epic proportions unless you fall into the specific straight white conservative male (KKK and/or Nazi party a plus) role.
(Disclaimer: I am a straight, white male, however share none of the other values of the disgusting president-elect. Clearly.)
This is a time where the level-headed need to join together. Not on social media, but protests, rallies, boycotting & if the time eventually comes, revolting. I deactivated my Facebook account the following morning of the election results and has been an extremely helpful thing. No blind surfing through bullshit made-up articles or wasting time digging through your former friend’s pro-Trump posts that disgust you so much that you start an all-out war on their page. They just aren’t worth it.
FUCK DONALD TRUMP. FUCK MIKE PENCE. FUCK RACISTS, HOMOPHOBES & MYSOGINSTS. FUCK THIS ENTIRE ADMINISTRATION. WE WON THE POPULAR VOTE—NOW LET’S MAKE HIS TIME IN OFFICE A LIVING HELL. WE WILL OVERCOME THIS. THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WILL NOT AND THEY LET THIS HAPPEN TO THEMSELVES.
Let’s do this. Let me guide you through some High Entertainment I can suggest to help ease the pain of all of this. Some are clearly election and anti-trump suggestions and others are distractions. Whichever you prefer, it’s extremely likely the only good to come from this clusterfuck of an election is that our favorite comedians, musicians, film-makers and artists are about to begin a new generation of artistically mediums bound to overshadow those of the Reagan era.
First and Foremost: Nipsey Hussle & YG with “Fuck Donald Trump.” I think my iTunes play count is somewhere in the 120 plays or so. I’m sure this number will exponentially change over the next four years. The song speaks for itself and honestly don’t need to add anything to their message.
Next: 30 Days 30 Songs: Written & Recorded by Artists for a Trump-Free America This is a fantastic organization that began releasing these songs at the beginning of October leading up to the election. Starting with one of the calmest and nicest bands on this planet—Death Cab for Cutie. IF a band like this has to create a song just to express their disdain for one specific man, you know you’re fucked up. Other notable musicians include Andrew Bird, R.E.M., Cold War Kids, Open Mike Eagle, Modern Baseball and Rogue Wave. While a majority of the artists involved in this project revolve somewhat around the indie rock circuit, the playlist which has been expanded to 50 Songs in 30 Days also has its fair share of other genres as well.
Lastly: Unite & Conquer-“Go Fuck Yourself” WARNING: If you don’t like metal and/or hardcore music, don’t even bother listening to this one. Unite & Conquer was a band that toured around North East Pennsylvania when I was an emo teenager and needed something upon which to reflect my teen angst. This song has gotten me through numerous break-ups and down times in my life and just playing it now while I type provides some brief calm even though my dog next to me clearly doesn’t like it. As the song is so eloquently titled, “Go Fuck Yourself” is an anthem for the angry. Don’t forget these feeling and emotions—while trump will go on a new Twitter rant to distract you from his true motives, your anger will be what fuels the change in our country. So get fired up.
Idiocracy: Since the beginning of this insane election, we were all laughing at the fact that a rapist reality-TV “star” was even trying to run for president, let along be successful at it. Numerous film and pop culture websites referenced this movie and slowly so did the general public that may have seen this cult hit created by Mike Judge, the creator of other comedic masterpieces such as Office Space, Silicon Valley Beavis & Butthead. The opening narration goes on a tirade that essentially says smart couples plan for one or two well-raised children, while the dumbfucks of our country repopulate like rabbits, spreading their stupid along a much larger family tree compared to those who have any sort of intelligence when it comes to procreating. (A favorite line: “I’m gonna fuck all y’all tonight.”)
The only difference in this film is that almost every theme and storyline are a direct dialogue as to the direction in which our country is headed—down the fucking shitter. The basic synopsis of Idiocracy is that a professional wrestler named Camacho (played by Terry Crews) becomes president and rather than taking care of the long-term needs of the people, he strikes a deal with a company called “Brawndo” that takes over as the country’s primary hydration source. “Brawndo—the thirst mutilator” is the motto of this faux-Gatorade company and slowly becomes the only form on what people used to call water. They use it in water fountains and even water their plants with it, which leads to horrific drought and lack of food since, you know, plants need real water to grow (Another favorite line: “Water? Like the thing in toilets?”).
While some of the satirical looks are purely comical, other themes such as advertisements taking over ¾ of your TV screen while watching, movies just called ‘Ass’ or TV shows of people just getting hit in the balls are premonitions scarily coming true by each year that we let stupidity rule rather than reason.
Ali G: In Da House: Idiocracy is the true winner of the trump prediction, but recently was watching Ali G: In Da House and found it similarly effective, showing that just because an “outsider” takes over the government does not mean things will change, let alone get better. Ali G is a character by Sacha Baron Cohen, the same guy behind Borat and Bruno. This film is a little more uplifting however, with Ali G getting the United Nations all high and the group finally comes together to agree on real decisions. We can all wish that would actually happen.
Television: Black Mirror: S2E3 The Waldo Moment: This one is brief because it’s a bit more abstract in the reasoning as to how this relates. The episode chronicles the rise of a vulgar, angry cartoon character named Waldo that somehow becomes a front-runner in the British election. What ensues is a bit of an exaggeration, but at this point who the fuck knows what could be real? Black Mirror as a whole has prediciting some crazy things that came true (like British Prime Minister David Cameron actually having sex with a pig).
Conclusions: Guys, I can’t say it will be okay. I can’t even say that our country will still resemble anything that we once thought was great about it when he gets done “making it great again” while reverting to the pre-Civil Rights era. We have our weed to distract us, but we can’t let it blind us. We still need to stay alert and vigilant in making sure trump does not get free reign of our country to line his bank accounts. The president elect has already begun to appoint people who can drastically change our lives. Some of these things effect our climate and natural resources, others effect our rights as U.S. citizens.
And those are some major fucking problems. In a smaller realm, this presidency is also a threat to the marijuana movement. He has already appointed a man to the Department of Justice who said “I didn’t think the Ku Klux Klan was that bad. Until I found out they smoked marijuana.” This guy has the power to override the state & district laws the citizens voted into power. He has the ability to have the D.E.A. raid dispensaries despite full state recreational legalization.
Stay angry. Stay active.